New Perspective

The computer's still broken, so no pictures, but we've been having a great time! Halloween was amazing--the warmest ever! Pictures to follow. I've been having a really rough couple of weeks since I started working. Saturday night I was trying to figure out what my problem is and looked back to remember if I had this much trouble working in the past. This pondering led me to the realization/rememberence that Heavenly Father has always provided me with work opportunities when our family needed the extra money. When the need was gone, so was the job. When I was engaged I worked 2 jobs and went to school at night. Turns out we needed that money to get us through the first couple of months of marriage. When Kylie was 3 months old I got a part-time job in Idaho so Brian could go to school. The company dissolved my job the same day I was giving them my 2-week notice. While living in Virginia I babysat a baby boy for a couple of months, which gave us the money needed to get us through a slow spell in Brian's work. I've been able to work off and on at the law firm when I've needed it. In Louisiana I got really busy with foot zoning after we decided to move back to Utah. Turns out we needed that money to help cover moving costs. Now here I am again at the law firm. I have really fought going back to work and have been more than miserable. I finally realized that Heavenly Father provided this job (again) so we can keep making payments on Brian's student loan. I am making a conscious effort to replace my negative thoughts with feelings of gratitude for the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father. I was able to come into work Monday morning with a new perspective and a lighter load. All week I had been praying for help because I couldn't pull myself out of my dark hole, and I prayed that Kylie and I could make some friends. Saturday we played at the Bear Bottoms Corn Maze and there was another young family there, and the girls really hit it off and we exchanged phone numbers for a playdate. New friends! Sunday my dad sat me down and let me talk and offered some inspired advice and gave me an awesome blessing. I am so grateful that he listened to the promptings of the Spirit that broadcasted my little cry for help. Another tender mercy from heaven. I don't feel on top of the world, by any means, but those positive experiences gave me the strength to fight off the darkness that was threatening to overtake me. I have never experienced anything like it before, and I've had some pretty low times. Hopefully I'm learning what I'm meant to learn from this experience, because I'd hate to feel like that for nothing!